Listening to Victor

The year must have been 2007, and Victor had come to Hong Kong with other singers for a concert. Fawzia has never looked more serene as in this photo, listening to Victor sing.

That evening, we went out for dinner with Victor and two friends. It was the first time we had met him (although we had enjoyed his music for decades), and was the beginning of a solid friendship. At my invitation, Victor brought his one-man show "Sa" to Hong Kong in 2008, and stayed at our home for 4 days.  

Tribute read by nephew Dinal Samaranayake at memorial service on January 6, 2017

Nghei Fawzia Braine (1948 – 2012)

We have gathered here to remember Linda aunty who left us five years ago. Individually, we each knew her as we saw her. She was a loving wife, a beloved mother, a loyal sister, an unforgettable cousin, and a popular aunt. But, how well did we really know her?

EARLY YEARS

Being the middle child, Linda was the mischievous tomboy. At St. Mathew’s College, Dematagoda, she showed early leadership skills, becoming the Head Prefect, a house captain, the Girl Guide leader, winner of the Best All Rounder prize, and a gold medalist in oratory. She took part in sports, volunteered at St. John’s Ambulance Brigade, and participated in Islamic radio programs. Later, at teachers training college, she was the captain of Girl Guides. She also acted in two Shakespeare plays - “Merry Wives of Windsor” and “A Midsummer Nights’ Dream”. Life was full.

But soon, life also became hectic. In order to cope with career and family needs, aunty taught at 9 schools during a 10-year teaching career in Sri Lanka, constantly moving and adjusting to new teaching environments. After marriage, the struggle continued. In Sri Lanka, Oman, the USA, and Hong Kong, together and apart, Linda aunty and George uncle lived in more than 25 locations they called “home”, moving frequently because of higher studies, career changes, and immigration requirements. These frequent moves took their toll.

In the early 1980s, Linda aunty gave up her teaching career and followed George uncle to Oman. Conditions were primitive; even electricity was a luxury. When uncle left for the States in 1984 on a scholarship, Linda aunty stayed on, suffering the harsh conditions of dormitory life because she had to support the family back home. Relatives who saw her on regular visits to Sri Lanka had no idea of the sacrifices she made.

In 1987, aunty took Roy aiya to the States to join George uncle. As students, they lived in a small flat, each working at two low-paying jobs. She changed careers, finally earning a Master’s in Library and Information Science from the University of Texas at Austin.

She worked as a librarian at two American universities and at the prestigious National Library of Medicine, where she supervised 15 employees. As she learned, the so called “colleagues” at these workplaces were not always collegial. Perhaps because, as one friend observed, aunty had a work ethic where few seemed to have one.

UNUSUAL PERSONALITY

If George uncle’s motto was “simplify”, Linda aunty’s was the opposite. She wished to acquire more trinkets, more clothes, more shoes! She hid the loot, away from uncle’s critical eyes, at six houses in three countries. She juggled bank accounts. Her travels rarely took the shortest route. Her shopping sprees were legendary.

In other ways, too, Linda aunty was a remarkable person. She spoke five languages: English, Sinhala, Tamil, Malay and Arabic. Although brought up as a Muslim, she enjoyed a glass of wine and the occasional beer. Her favorite cocktail was the Margarita. On her last flight from HK to Sri Lanka, she enjoyed not one but two Singapore Slings. She loved good food, clothes, country music, hats, candles, movies, flowering plants, and was a rugby fan from her schooldays. She cheated openly at cards. She loved owning property. Her energy and love of life was boundless.

Aunty touched the lives of her friends. One long-time friend from Arkansas quoted an Arabian proverb when describing aunty:

"A friend is one to whom one may pour out all the contents of one's heart,
chaff and grain together, knowing that the gentlest of hands will take and
sift it, keep what is worth keeping, and with a breath of kindness blow the
rest away."

Another friend called her “intelligent, cosmopolitan, knowledgeable, and politically liberal. She was fun: always open to going out and doing something interesting.” A doctor friend, Swarna, remembered how aunty filled more than twenty residency applications for her, enabling Swarna to come to the States. And how, when she  was having her second child, aunty took time off to care for her.  She was so saddened by Linda aunty’s loss that she grieved as much as she did at her parents’ passing. Another friend Nirosha remembers how Linda aunty gave “all her heart” to make her family strong when they were was struggling students, and cared for her when she was pregnant. To Nirosha, aunty was her Hong Kong mother.

Nothing came easily to Linda aunty. So she adapted or fought back. When she realized that getting a job as an English teacher in the States would be a challenge, she qualified as a librarian. When she could not find a librarian position in Hong Kong, she found a teaching job at a preschool. After her chemotherapy, when her hair turned prematurely grey and she was discriminated at job interviews, she dyed it and promptly found a job!

Linda aunty’s loyalty to her family was absolute: her siblings, cousins, nephews and nieces could do no wrong. With them, she was generous to a fault. She was especially attached to elderly relatives. Despite busy schedules on brief visits to Sri Lanka, she first saw her mother, then her beloved Loku uncle, Thai aunty, Boolong aunty in Chilaw, and Addo uncle in Kalutara. She loved aunty Bee, who had steadfastly supported her and George when they were struggling, and made frequent trips to London to visit her. Her last Christmas, a holiday she loved, was spent with Aunty Bee.

Linda aunty enjoyed good food and was a wonderful cook. For the people she loved - family and friends – she cooked from the heart.  In the tributes they wrote on her blog, friends mention her delicious meals again and again.

ILLNESS

Aunty’s life changed dramatically when she was diagnosed with breast cancer in late 1999. George uncle was in Hong Kong and did the long, round-trip only once a month, and Roy aiya was also away in Florida. With the help of a few devoted friends, she fought the cancer, undergoing surgery, chemotherapy with all its harrowing side effects, and numerous follow-up medical procedures. Some insurance companies throw every obstacle at cancer patients because treatment is expensive, so for every doctor’s visit, every test, and every therapy, aunty had to face obstacles. She fought them with fortitude and resolve. She had completed ten years of follow-up treatment and had been declared cancer-free when the fatal accident occurred. That only heightened the tragedy of her passing.

During this period, aunty began to attend St. Jude’s shrine at Rockville in Maryland, not far from where she lived. Aunty found great strength in the saint and solace in the congregation. Whenever she visited Hong Kong, she would insist that George uncle attend Sunday service. When friends saw him in church, they knew aunty was in town!

FINAL YEARS

She then joined uncle in Hong Kong, her third move to a new country. They lived in Clover Lodge, close to a country park. Theirs was a lovely home, with a view of the water in front and shielded by the hills behind. Aunty lovingly tended the tiny garden. Often, after dinner, they would saunter into the country park to enjoy the serenity of the evening. They made good friends at Clover Lodge. With one, aunty relaxed at the nearby beach club every week.

Two years before she passed away, aunty began to teach English at Shue Yan University in Hong Kong. Teaching, more than librarianship, was her forte. At Shue Yan, she found caring administrators, friendly colleagues, and students who liked her. She was devoted to teaching, spending many hours preparing for lessons and giving detailed feedback on student papers. She had a long commute to school - by bus, train, and a bus again. She never complained.

During her last years, two events brought her great happiness. The first was the birth of granddaughter Nelum. Even seeing her on skype or video transformed aunty into a little girl herself. Her happiness was almost unreal. The second event, more a relationship, occurred when she began to worship at the Alliance International Church in Hong Kong. She blended in, making friends, joining in the fellowship, and finding a haven of peace. For her, Sunday became the most important day of the week. The congregation became her extended family.

Linda aunty did not make headlines. She didn’t move mountains. She wasn’t perfect. But she left a lasting impression on everyone who met her. Her exuberance, energy, and zest for life were unmatched.

Five after her passing, we are left only with memories and sadness. We really don’t appreciate someone until we experience her loss.

May she rest in peace.