Miriam with Mandy (left) and Snoopy. She "inherited" them when Fawzia moved to Hong Kong from Conway, Arkansas, in 1996.
Dear George,
The news about Fawzia came as a real shock to me and I am
very saddened by it. I cannot begin to imagine what you and Roy are going
through right now. You have my sympathy and my condolences. I am so very, very sorry that Fawzia is no
longer with us.
Thank goodness she succeeded in getting American citizenship
for Roy and herself, that she enjoyed seeing Roy get married, establish a good
career, and that she met her granddaughter. She even got to see you retire
after a successful career.
Fawzia was actually one of my longer-lasting friendships. She
played a gigantic role in my life in Arkansas. My private life there improved
greatly after I met Fawzia at a cultural event on campus. No one in Conway matched
Fawzia in quality. She was very intelligent, cosmopolitan, knowledgeable, and
politically liberal. She had a work ethic at a university where few seemed to
have one. She had real integrity. Fawzia was sympathetic to other people and
kept confidences. She was fun: always open to going out and doing something
interesting. These characteristics are not as easily found in the general
population as we would imagine them to be. I really appreciated the many
delicious meals she prepared for me and others. We had a very good time when
we, with Roy, drove to Texas and visited Sri Lankan friends.
Fawzia organized my meeting you when I had to give a paper in
Mobile, Alabama. I remember like it was yesterday: arriving at your house,
seeing that low Corgi smile in the door threshold, you inviting me inside to
another fabulous Sri Lankan dinner. Mandy was always leaping in the air until
you had to scold her to calm down!
After Mandy moved to Conway and picked up Snoopy, I took them
on long walks to try to reduce my constantly increasing stress level. Fawzia was
facing challenges on her job as well at that time but she managed to keep her
job. Fawzia and I shared meals, concerts, lectures, festivals, museums,
sightseeing, shopping, and trips. Over the years Fawzia has given me such beautiful
gifts. Our friendship became one of my longer ones when she moved to the Washington
metropolitan area. Most of the other Arkansas “friends” turned out to be typically
American: superficially friendly with no substance. “Out of sight, out of
mind”.
On August 30, 2008, Fawzia, Roy and Fawzia’s friend feasted
the dogs and me. Fawzia took a lot of photographs that have become very
precious to me because they became almost the last ones before the dogs had to
be put down. (Mandy on 8 November and Snoopy ten days later.) Whenever I look
at those photos I think of that day as the big party Fawzia and I shared with
the dogs. The dogs ate up their Sri Lankan food so greedily that it made us
laugh. Clearly they had missed it! Then someone said “Walk?” and the four of us
strutted out as we had done so many times in Conway, Arkansas.
Roy visited the dogs early November and took a few more
pictures. Mandy was sick at that time and I did not yet fully realize that
Snoopy’s kidneys were shutting down. The Braines’ sincere compassion during Mandy
and Snoopy’s final months was a testimony of love. I feel that the dogs are a
permanent bond between us. I still dream about them but lately my dreams have
Fawzia.
This made me realize how much she had impacted my life. It is
said that you really do not appreciate someone until you experience their loss.
Alas, that is all too true. I told my mother that I hoped Fawzia was with the
dogs.
I wish you much strength and love.
